Speaking/Grammar Annoyances

Dec 10, 2008 by Jared Smith

If you read this blog much, you know I’m not the best writer. If you’ve heard me speak, you know I can barely do so. This naturally makes me the perfect person to rip on others for their grammatic, vernacular, and linguistic flaws.

You guyses

For example, “What happened to you guyses trailer house?” A common deviation is your guyses, as in, “Why are your guyses sheep walking funny?” The proper word is your. Ya’lls is not an adequate substitute. A version often heard in the Northeast is youse guys, as in, “Youse guys from Brooklyn?”

I seen

Bastardized form of I saw. It is commonly heard on hunting shows, as in, “I seen some monster bucks!” Another Outdoor Channel favorite is using was instead of were – “There was three bucks.”

They’re, there, and their

A friend tells the story of seeing a Burger King sign that read something like, “Bacon Whoppers – Their Back!” The manager apparently got a bit snooty when he was told the spelling was incorrect. The next day the sign read, “Bacon Whoppers – There Back!” Some people are made to be Burger King managers.

“Let me tell ya.” or “I’ll tell you what.”

I’m not stopping you, so stop talking silly talk and tell me already. Commonly spoken by former Republican vice-presidential candidates.


The chicken went across the road. Yep, he crossed it. That’s all.

I’m a people person

This is commonly spoken by people that have no social skills. I recently interviewed a girl that had the personality and communication skills of a bar stool. I nearly laughed out loud when she said this was her top qualification for the job.


This one just elicits bad imagery. It’s commonly spoken by Mormon housewives – “There’s a buttload of kids in the nursery.”

No offense

When you hear this, you can always replace it with, “I’m a douche bag.”

Should of, would of, could of, or must of

All of the above are incorrect. Replace of with have or at least provide the proper contraction (e.g, should’ve). You would of known this, but don’t because you should of stayed in school. You could of dropped out because English must of been too difficult for you.

Nevada, as in Nuh-vah-da

If you say it like this, you’d better be a Mexican.


Saying ridiculous this way makes you sound ritarded.


When you hear this at the beginning of a sentence, the speaker/writer means, “Let me use short words of one syllable so that your pea-sized brain might have a remote chance of comprehending a portion of the superior intellect I am about to impart” or optionally, “I’m a douche bag.”


I can’t describe the fRustration I feel when people say this.

I’m nauseous

This means you cause nausea. You more likely mean, “I’m nauseated.” Commonly spoken by pregnant women who may or may not be nauseous.

Well, that’s all I can think of for today. Is there anyone I haven’t offended? What are your speaking/grammar annoyances?

  1. 12 Responses to “Speaking/Grammar Annoyances”

  2. I’m not offended. Even I laughed at the things I commonly say incorrectly. I must sound really ritarded (meaning I say ridiculous wrong) when I say I’m nauseous. :) By the way, I had never studied or learned the different forms of that word. I’m glad to know and announce that I will never nauseate other people. Hopefully.

    By Erin on Dec 10, 2008

  3. That was very funny!! Im sure all of the (other) Smith kids knew we were idiots before but you have now confirmed it. i loved the part about “is seen”, it drives me absolutely crazy when josh says that but after 3 years i have stopped correcting him completely and started working on not saying it myself. im now curious how many people that post a comment had to correct themselves while typing so they didnt use any of the terms jared blogged about? i did about three times!

    By jill on Dec 10, 2008

  4. You guyses comments are funny. Yeah, I seen just today where I make these mistakes all the time. It’s rediculously fustrating!

    By Jared Smith on Dec 10, 2008

  5. One thing about Nevada…people who live in central Ames know if you are from there or not if you pronounce it “Nuh va da.” Because, of course, it’s “Nuh vay da.”

    That’s all.

    By Erin on Dec 10, 2008

  6. I concur. The “heighth”, depth and breadth of these problems are abominable.

    By John on Dec 11, 2008

  7. I have one to add…”costed”. My extended family has a terrible habit of saying that “___ costed me $1”. There is no such word as “costed”! BTW…I’m feeling really self-conscious writing this, because what if I use the wrong vocabulary – you know where I live, and you might spray paint my house or something. I’ll give you permission to spray paint the dog, but please not the house!
    Oh…I just thought of one more. My dad and Grandpa are farmers. Their language consists of things like, “Were you barn in a born.” Really! That is truly how they say those words – it’s pretty funny!

    By Nicky on Dec 12, 2008

  8. You have composed a very comprehensive list! I have to say, though, that my biggest pet peeve is when people say, “I could care less.” I’m certain that what they mean is, “I couldn’t care less.” When someone says, “I could care less,” that indicates…nay dictates that there is some level of care.

    By Britnee Landerman on Dec 13, 2008

  9. Try living with a Canadian who speaks the Queen’s English, I am corrected on a constantly. Another pet peeve that I have is people using “literally” wrong. Example, “He literally died.” No he didn’t, that’s what we hope happens to you.

    By Mark on Dec 13, 2008

  10. I remember one of my brothers (Mr. Grammar, himself) would always say, “it matters” instead of “it depends”. Example, “Jared, would you stop correcting everyone’s grammatical errors”? “It matters”.

    Matters on what???!!! I haven’t noticed you do it for a while, but you know you are guilty!!

    By Trisha on Dec 13, 2008

  11. One of my personal “favorites” is: “can I ax you something?” I always want to reply “no way – don’t axe me!, but you may ask me…”

    By Lois (N350BC_Doug's wife) on Dec 16, 2008

  12. Mark, you wouldn’t need correction if you’d stop saying “squoze” (I don’t even know how one spells that word!), com-promise and gar-gan-zala.

    By Melanie on Dec 17, 2008

  13. “Actually”


    “Basically” I think this one was covered here.

    “At the end of the day”

    Ending a sentence with “So… “

    Apostrophes to denote plurals. What if I used apostrophe’s to denote plural’s?

    “Pick and choose” don’t they mean the same thing?

    “I mean…” interjected in a sentence, what does that mean?

    Phrasing statements as questions? Like I am doing now?

    “Like”. As in “I’m like…” too frequently used as a replacement for “I thought” or “I said”.

    “omg!”, “lol”, “rotfl”, “lmaof” and all those worn out abbreviations…wtf!

    “Moving forward” instead of “In the future”.

    “That been said” or “Having said that”…please, don’t inform me that you just told me what you just told me, just get on with it and hopefully your next sentence will not be phrased as a question or contain any of the annoyances listed here.

    “From a perspective”

    By Attila the hun on Feb 17, 2013

Post a Comment