I Assaulted David Archuleta
Jul 13, 2009 by Jared SmithI flew into Los Angeles today and accidentally assaulted David Archuleta in the process.
I was seated in the front, bulkhead row of cabin class and when the plane stopped at LAX, I stood up, squeezed through traffic, pulled down my bag from the overhead compartment, and then tried to back into the galley area right by the exit door. I didn’t realize that while I was getting my bag, David had come from First Class and had occupied the area immediately where I was backing. I smacked him pretty hard with my backpack. Of course this is perfectly understandable because in real life David is roughly the height and build of Frodo Baggins.
I immediately apologized and he said it was OK. It took me a few moments to realize who it was. I knew it was someone famous, but it took a second for my mind to process…
Famous person? Yes.
Singer? Yes.
On TV? Yes.
A Jonas Brother? No.
David… whatchamasomething……….? Yes!
I now realize that if I’d have been paying attention, I would have realized something was up before we landed. Apparently everyone on the plane but me knew he was in first class. I suddenly realized that the stench of estrogen was strong in the air and that every female was now mobbing to get a glimpse of him. I was literally being pushed toward him and he was being pushed, by me, into a corner. I’d like to say that I was filling the role of his bodyguard by shielding him from the onslaught with my body, but I really didn’t have control over the situation. (He was, by the way, totally alone.) We were inches apart and face to face… well, face to neck/chest/breast area maybe.
I COULD SMELL THE AIRLINE PEANUTS ON DAVID ARCHULETA’S BREATH!
Here’s how our conversation went from there…
Me: “Oh… Hey… How ya doin’?”
David (smiling): “Great!”
Me (shouting): “GET BACK YOU DEVIL WOMEN!!!” Ok, I didn’t yell this, but wanted to. Instead I stupidly asked, “You here for work?”
David (probably thinking I’m a git for asking that question in L.A.): “Yeah.”
Me: “Cool. Ummm… have fun!”
David: “I will.”
The flight attendant then opened the plane door.
Me and David at the same time: “Go ahead.”
Me: “No, go ahead.”
David: “Go ahead!”
Me: (Stared at him knowing there’s no way I can go before HIM!)
David: “Sorry. OK. Thanks.”
We then exited the plane where we were both mobbed by teenage girls who kept asking us for pictures… or more specifically, asking me to take a picture of them with David. I think they thought we were together – probably brothers… or something like that.
He was very gracious and even thanked me a couple times for taking pictures of other people with him. I did sneak one quick picture in before he literally RAN through the terminal to get away from the growing mob of giddy teenage girls and middle aged mothers.
58 Responses to “I Assaulted David Archuleta”
So he chose the peanuts over the cookies…hmmm
By Karen on Jul 13, 2009
Cute story, thanks for sharing. Now go buy his cd, it’s the least you could do for the assault.
By kim on Jul 14, 2009
oh man….I’m jealous of your wonderful experience!!!!!!!!!thanks for sharing this :)
By Wagu on Jul 14, 2009
oh man….I’m soooo jealous of your wonderful experience!!!!!!!!!thanks for sharing this :)
By Wagu on Jul 14, 2009
Thanks for the write-up! Very well written and I love the feeling of being right there in your head – haha Thanks again!
By kara on Jul 14, 2009
wow, thanks for writing this up! great story, thanks for protecting David! lol :)
By Maggie on Jul 14, 2009
LOL Jared! Great story…I’m sure David didn’t think much of the “assault”, that’s how he is. Loved hearing your story, btw, and thanks for protecting him from the girls! P.S. Did it even occur to you that he might like the attention from said mob of girls? HAHA- a little protection is never a bad thing though! You should go buy his album, it’s AWESOME! and if you get the chance, do yourself a favor and see him sing LIVE!
By piscesthruandthru on Jul 14, 2009
“I suddenly realized that the stench of estrogen was strong in the air and that every female was now mobbing to get a glimpse of him.”
Do I detect the stench of a wee bit of jealousy?
By foxy on Jul 14, 2009
i’m jealous…but i like this part :)…:
“”Me and David at the same time: “Go ahead.”
Me: “No, go ahead.”
David: “Go ahead!”
Me: (Stared at him knowing there’s no way I can go before HIM!)
David: “Sorry. OK. Thanks.””
By kat_moniq on Jul 14, 2009
waaaaahhhhh!!! cant get over this….
i’m jealous coz…i’ve never seen david A. in person…
T_T
:’(
By kat_moniq on Jul 14, 2009
OMG LOL! I can’t believe that you actually bumped into him on the plane. It is pretty awesome that you were on a plane with him. But how did you not notice? I’m sure that he didn’t mind that you bumped into him. Especially since it was an accident.
By davidafan4ever on Jul 14, 2009
Great write-up of your experience! Thank you for taking the time.
By Kait on Jul 14, 2009
Oh my gosh! I’m soooo jealous of your joyful experience…I’ve never seen him in person!
thanks for sharing:)
By Wagu(Taiwan) on Jul 14, 2009
whoa!what a cool story..thanks for sharing!
i enjoyed reading your account story,yayyy! i hope you will buy his christmas album when it comes out this year..btw, zero gravity is a very cool song..it’s available on itunes…if you one, i can gift it to you..that’s my way of saying “thank you” for protecting david from his adoring fans…cheers!
By Mhel (*.*) on Jul 14, 2009
ops…it should be “if you want…” lol….i’m just so happy with your story….it made me smile the whole time…
but mind you..david is bigger than the jonas…and he is not like frodo…..lol
By Mhel (*.*) on Jul 14, 2009
Buuahahahah!!!
Thank you so much for sharing this story!
I’m surprised David actually let you go before him. LOL
By Amy(ahecht25) on Jul 14, 2009
awesome story! one of the funniest experiences meeting david, i’ve ever read!
besides him being nice and smiley as you have already seen first hand (and more) he is a PHENOMENAL performer. I suggest you buy his album or any of his songs, watch vids of him on youtube and tell your friends too :)
and why was he alone on the plane when this all happenned? but thank you for sort of protecting him :)
By sassy_girl_knowit on Jul 14, 2009
wow jared. lucky he didn’t have a couple of bodyguards with him 2 take you down. that would’ve been hilarious. still, thats pretty cool. haha
By tyler on Jul 14, 2009
Ha! love your blog. You are now famous with David fans all over the world. Check out fansofdavid.com (and other David A. fansites).
Thanks for taking care of the precious cargo! (David was in LA recording his Christmas album, but is now in Seattle continuing his tour)
By Susan on Jul 14, 2009
What a funny story! You were famous by association, if only for a moment…
By Erin on Jul 14, 2009
“GET BACK YOU DEVIL WOMEN!!!” LMAOO yess some David fans can get intense when he is near. David is a really nice person isn’t he?? now you know why women react that way toward him :D..really funny story dude :D
By Stina on Jul 14, 2009
This is one terrific story! I seriously spit my drink of coffee out with the “whose going out first” bit! Bwahahahaha! Thanks Jared. Your David encounter has made my day!
By angelofdja on Jul 14, 2009
That is SOOOO FUNNY!! I love the Peanut Breath joke. Lucky, lucky guy….
Thanks for sharing your experience :)
By Krystal on Jul 14, 2009
woo you’re so lucky man, congratz!!
By you're so lucky on Jul 14, 2009
You are a cool guy. A very lucky on too i would love to run into david on a plane. You are funny.
By mike davis on Jul 14, 2009
Wow… who would have known… only you… mary posted it on facebook or i wouldn’t have heard… wow… have fun on your trip… btw you shoudl have got me an autograph or something
By Jorden on Jul 14, 2009
Thank you so much for posting this, Jared! You have great writing skills! I was laughing the whole time! This was my favorite part:
“I suddenly realized that the stench of estrogen was strong in the air and that every female was now mobbing to get a glimpse of him.”
Haha!
By Wanda on Jul 14, 2009
Thanks for sharing! Did you realize that all of us David fans would love this story and that you would be put on David’s fansites? David is such a great guy, so considerate of others!!! That’s why we love him….along with that incredible VOICE!!! Can’t wait for the Christmas CD!!
By Paula on Jul 14, 2009
DAVID ARCHULETA ROCKS, thanks for the blog, David has millions of fans all over the world who follow him. Your blog made it on one of his over 400 fansights, lol. And yes he is a very gracious kind soul, w/ an amazing voice.
By Lisa on Jul 14, 2009
hahahahh oh my gosh that is SUCH a great story. :) sounds like it was really amazing.
By madison on Jul 14, 2009
wow!!! What a funny story!! :)
thanks for sharing!
By switt on Jul 14, 2009
I enjoyed your story Jared. And I would be one of those middle-aged people running over you to get to David. lol.
By Katy on Jul 14, 2009
Now you know that for people to actually read your blog you have to put a famous name in your title:) I’ve met a few famous people in my life and I’m always standing there going “now who is this…I know they’re famous, but can’t remember…” I met Michael Jordan once and a whole bunch of people were getting his autograph and I was like…”hmm…Michael Jordan…never heard of him”, so I left without a autograph! Dumb! Congrats on bumping w/David. You are now the envy of every teenage girl and Mormon housewife in the world:)
By Trisha on Jul 14, 2009
“David… whatchamasomething……….? Yes!” LOL!! :) this was a great and funny story. Thank you for sharing. David Archuleta is simply the best!!!!
By sandra DB on Jul 14, 2009
Thank you so much for sharing. I love this story and what you wrote is hilarious. LOL
By ChicagoArchie on Jul 14, 2009
You and David both live in Utah, maybe you guys can be friends now, haha
By kathy on Jul 14, 2009
Jared, Thank you for this hilarious blog of your “David” encounter. He is totaling charming and had you under his spell. Your blog will be read by thousands who visit David Archuleta fan sites. Come to fansofdavid.com and get into the comment section to chat with us. We have a blast and would welcome your interaction. Oh yeah, try to see David live in concert. Nothing like that experience and I promise you, if you see him once you will HAVE to see him again.
By hollyre on Jul 14, 2009
Jared, Thank you for this hilarious blog of your “David” encounter. He is totaling charming and had you under his spell. Your blog will be read by thousands who visit David Archuleta fan sites. Come to fansofdavid.com and get into the comment section to chat with us. We have a blast and would welcome your interaction. Oh yeah, try to see David live in concert. Nothing like that experience and I promise you, if you see him once you will HAVE to see him again. BTW cute kids!
By hollyre on Jul 14, 2009
Kim – right on! at least he could buy a David’s CD for the assault haha. To bad it was a fangirl pressing so close to him haha! Great story! Actually ANYTHING DAVID is a great story!!!
By wellda on Jul 14, 2009
Oooohhhh I wish I was you!! You tell a great story!! That’s what’s so appealing about David–so down to earth. Yeah–I agree with lots of other comments–you gotta see David perform in person–his voice is out of this world–and he mesmerizes–soooo much electricity in the air! I can hardly wait til I see him in August!
By caitlin on Jul 14, 2009
Uhhhhh, I think they just about said it all…
But of course he was going to work. Someone has to be the ring-bearer…
By John on Jul 14, 2009
Your story made me Lol, Jared. Thanks for sharing!
By Astrid on Jul 14, 2009
This is a totally awesome story! Thanks for sharing!
By Lins on Jul 14, 2009
Your blog made my day! Thanks for that story. David is one of a kind, that’s for sure.
By Judy on Jul 14, 2009
Your blog made my day! Thanks for that. David is, indeed, one of a kind.
By Judy on Jul 14, 2009
ahh ur sooo lucky. i love David. so so so much:) thanks for sharing the story hehe.
By yoselin on Jul 14, 2009
I LOVE how David is still using his backpack!! He’s such a normal guy. :D And has all the charms and bracelets that fans give him!! Sounds like a funny experience, now why can’t I be so lucky to “accidentally assault” David Archuleta!! ;)
By jennyGPA on Jul 14, 2009
Oh, my heck! It’s my dream to encounter David somewhere and experience real David that everyone talks about ; such a humble and nice guy. You are so lucky!!
By graceme on Jul 14, 2009
Very cute, funny story! Your ’stench of estrogen’ phrase was quite hilarious. I think that would be sooo cool to run into David at some regular place like that…maybe the airport, a mall, Wal-Mart, or a grocery store. I’ve met him 2 times in person, but it would be so awesome to run across him in his daily life. Thanks for the story!
By Regina on Jul 14, 2009
Omg you are so lucky!!!!
By ArchAngel11 on Jul 14, 2009
u are hilarious. i love how you told the story. and u are waaaaaaaaayyyyy lucky to have been that close to him (and smell his breath. lol) and to have been able to converse with him. :)
By kat on Jul 14, 2009
Okay if i hear anyone else tell you how funny you are or how lucky you are to have stood in David’s presence I’m going to puke! get a life Mormon housewives and teenage girls. doesn’t the new twilight come out soon? move on to the next wave of frenzied waste of estrogen. let’s get back to something only our family and friends will think is funny. eh.
By jill on Jul 15, 2009
Take a breath jill and calm down.
I personally love David and really enjoyed your story! thanks for sharing!
By Rach on Jul 15, 2009
Jared, what a wonderful experience. Once you meet David, you can’t forget him. Your story was great. Now you know, what we his fans know, that he is “Just David”. A truly genuine, real super guy with an amazing voice and personality to match. Thanks!
By judie on Jul 22, 2009
Ha! ha! David munching on peanuts! He does like nuts though! I think a picture of David running at the airport from the mob of gals would be a sight to see!
By MaddieLynn on Aug 9, 2009