My inner child just died

Jul 10, 2007 by Jared Smith

The rape of your childhood memories continues…

chipmunks in da hood

So I’ve never been a big Alvin and the Chipmunks fan, but I do have distinct memories of watching them as a child. When I saw that they are making Alvin and ‘da boys into gangsta rappers, I lost all hope that any of my childhood memories will remain untainted. The movie’s director and writers previously turned out such cinematic wonders as The Garfield Movie, Max Keeble’s Big Move, and Big Momma’s House 2. And to top it off, Jason Lee (the My Name is Earl guy) is playing Dave Seville. Needless to say, my hopes are not very high.

Will Alvin bust a cap into Dave’s head? Will the Chipettes be crack whores? Where are their shoes? Which is more mutated, singing rodents or Jason Lee’s eyebrow? Is DJ Jazzy Sizz-imon gunna make ya jump jump?

Is nothing from our childhood sacred? They’ve already ruined Inspector Gadget, Garfield, the Transformers, Herbie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Scooby Doo, Fat Albert, The Flinstones, The Dukes of Hazard, and countless others. What’s next, The Rock as G.I. Joe? Willie Nelson as a live action Papa Smurf? The Backstreet Boys as the A-Team? Lindsay Lohan as Strawberry Shortcake? My childhood memories are dieing. Word!

  1. One Response to “My inner child just died”

  2. Mine are still intact until I see a live action version of Jem… then we might have some problems! I hear Transformers might actually be worth it this time around!

    By Melanie on Jul 10, 2007

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